So, in the end, I stepped away from the finished draft for a week and have started to revise again. Revision is hard, adding, cutting, rethinking. And I've been taking notes during the writing of things I was sure I was going to revise anyway. AND I revise as I write anyway, so my revisions are actually less than if I would not revise at all. But I've never been able to simply write without revising, so I guess that's a plus.
But here's my surprise, even as I'm completely living in one universe, what happens in my dreams? A new world, new characters enter it so insitently that I had to wake up this morning and begin writing about them too! I'm not sure I'm ready to write the whole story out now, so I took a new notebook just fr it and began writing down those snatches of conversation I witnessed in my dreams and outlining where I think this story wants to go (though I'm sure it'll change as I'm actually writing it). I guess it's true, there more you write, the more you'll want to write. I'm actually thinking maybe I'll try this story for NaNoWriMo afterall. All the possibilities.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Discipline
It's what I woke up thinking about.
First, there's the discipline you choose to give your children. Recently, a friend shared her view on discipline with us. As her two-year-old + daughter ran around screaming and laughing and generally creating chaos, she laughed and said, "So when I went to sign her up for school, they asked me what kind of discipline we have at home. I just laughed and said, 'Discipline, what discipline? She's two!'" I have to said that said little girl is referred to as a tornado and though we all say it jokingly, there's some truth to the words that we are afraid of her visiting.
So, I worry about how I"m going to shape my own son as he grows. I struggle with schedules for him: eating, napping, bedtime. But he is a pretty well-behaved baby so far. Still, I don't ever want him to be the "tornado" everyone fears a visit from.
But I also woke up thinking about my writing discipline. All those years of having more than enough time to write, to sleep and wake as I pleased, with no little people to be responsible for, and yet, my writing discipline has only developed now, after my son was born, when my time is limited. Ironic. Or maybe I did need to feel time was limited and I had to make time for my writing. Yes, sometimes I skip a day or two with my writing, but overall, I make time write everyday now. I skipped two days this week so what did I do yesterday? I drank a large cup of coffee so that after the baby was asleep, I could stay up writing. And I did so til 3am this morning. Not the best of decisions, of course, since baby is teething and ended up having a bad night and now, with a few hours of unrestful sleep and another large coffee in me, I'm up and doing all the mommy things (and with a semi-cranky baby to boot) and still anxious for tonight to come, when I can sit down for a couple of hours and write.
First, there's the discipline you choose to give your children. Recently, a friend shared her view on discipline with us. As her two-year-old + daughter ran around screaming and laughing and generally creating chaos, she laughed and said, "So when I went to sign her up for school, they asked me what kind of discipline we have at home. I just laughed and said, 'Discipline, what discipline? She's two!'" I have to said that said little girl is referred to as a tornado and though we all say it jokingly, there's some truth to the words that we are afraid of her visiting.
So, I worry about how I"m going to shape my own son as he grows. I struggle with schedules for him: eating, napping, bedtime. But he is a pretty well-behaved baby so far. Still, I don't ever want him to be the "tornado" everyone fears a visit from.
But I also woke up thinking about my writing discipline. All those years of having more than enough time to write, to sleep and wake as I pleased, with no little people to be responsible for, and yet, my writing discipline has only developed now, after my son was born, when my time is limited. Ironic. Or maybe I did need to feel time was limited and I had to make time for my writing. Yes, sometimes I skip a day or two with my writing, but overall, I make time write everyday now. I skipped two days this week so what did I do yesterday? I drank a large cup of coffee so that after the baby was asleep, I could stay up writing. And I did so til 3am this morning. Not the best of decisions, of course, since baby is teething and ended up having a bad night and now, with a few hours of unrestful sleep and another large coffee in me, I'm up and doing all the mommy things (and with a semi-cranky baby to boot) and still anxious for tonight to come, when I can sit down for a couple of hours and write.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Proof That After Five Years I Haven't Adapted to this Country
O: So, things will get better next week with the blackouts.
Me: Yeah? What, they're going to stop?
O: No, they'll continue and probably increase, but at least they'll be scheduled.
Me: And this is better?
O (cheerfully): Yes, at least you'll know when they're coming and you'll be able to plan for them. It was always better when they were scheduled.
Me (confused): I guess...
So this is what life does to you in this country. You being to believe that an improvement to the damned blackouts is more, scheduled blackouts.
Me: Yeah? What, they're going to stop?
O: No, they'll continue and probably increase, but at least they'll be scheduled.
Me: And this is better?
O (cheerfully): Yes, at least you'll know when they're coming and you'll be able to plan for them. It was always better when they were scheduled.
Me (confused): I guess...
So this is what life does to you in this country. You being to believe that an improvement to the damned blackouts is more, scheduled blackouts.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
The End is Here!
Yes, that's right. The final chapter of my novel. Not only did I get my direction back in the last few days, I also got my ending. Like the entire chapter! Oh, the novel is not finished, there's still a lot I have to write out, but I wrote the ending. And what an ending! There I was doing my daily 2 mile walk (yup, have been consistent for two weeks now!) and suddenly, I heard it all/saw it all in my head and couldn't wait to sit down and type it out. So as soon as I was done, I started, but only got halfway done before that pesky thing called real life intruded and made me come back to earth and take care of baby, run errands, honor prior commitments, but then finally I was able to sit down in front of the trusty laptop again and write, write, write. And now it's written. And I can go to bed and dream about my story some more (and already I want it to be tomorrow so I can continue typing). It's amazing knowing the end. Becuase that means I also know pretty much everything that's missing. That is, unless my characters decide to play with me and just plain confuse me again. But that won't happen. No, they'll be good this time. :D Oh, I really, literally can say I wrote the end! I'm still celebrating. Of course, there's a ton of work done. Don't care though. :D I think this is still reason to celebrate.
Oh, that's right, and even before I got to write, Dorian decided to show us his brand new tooth. His first, which sprouted overnight (except he's been teething for what feels like months!). Oh, my son is growing soooo fast!
Goodnight!
Oh, that's right, and even before I got to write, Dorian decided to show us his brand new tooth. His first, which sprouted overnight (except he's been teething for what feels like months!). Oh, my son is growing soooo fast!
Goodnight!
Friday, August 28, 2009
The positive side of those annoying blackouts.
I love waking up to this face:
But I hate waking up to no electricity, and not just for a bit, no. For the whole day, practically. And by the time the electricity came back again, around 4pm, I really was in no mood to do anything more than lay around and do nothing! However, in the middle of the blackout, I did get the ending of a chapter that I had been struggling with and finally sat down and wrote it out. Of course, by that time, Dorian was cranky and ñoño, wanting to be carried, wanting to be put on the floor, carried again, crying, sleepy but fighting it, and most of all, going crazy from the humidity and the heat. Okay, and so was I. But somehow, I did write it out (and I really prefer to type my stories) and from finishing this one chapter, that pesky question of where the story was going, somehow got answered for me. Just like that. Should I thank the blackout? I was just sitting there, playing on the floor with Dorian when it came to me. If there had been no blackout, I would have been doing laundry, cleaning, or maybe watching tv, or on the internet or on facebook, all distractions that keep me from writing. But instead, I was just sitting there, trying to keep a cranky baby entertained, and boom! there they were, characters speaking in my head again. So I guess I'll see the positive side to a whole day without electricity in the hottest month of the year no less.
But I hate waking up to no electricity, and not just for a bit, no. For the whole day, practically. And by the time the electricity came back again, around 4pm, I really was in no mood to do anything more than lay around and do nothing! However, in the middle of the blackout, I did get the ending of a chapter that I had been struggling with and finally sat down and wrote it out. Of course, by that time, Dorian was cranky and ñoño, wanting to be carried, wanting to be put on the floor, carried again, crying, sleepy but fighting it, and most of all, going crazy from the humidity and the heat. Okay, and so was I. But somehow, I did write it out (and I really prefer to type my stories) and from finishing this one chapter, that pesky question of where the story was going, somehow got answered for me. Just like that. Should I thank the blackout? I was just sitting there, playing on the floor with Dorian when it came to me. If there had been no blackout, I would have been doing laundry, cleaning, or maybe watching tv, or on the internet or on facebook, all distractions that keep me from writing. But instead, I was just sitting there, trying to keep a cranky baby entertained, and boom! there they were, characters speaking in my head again. So I guess I'll see the positive side to a whole day without electricity in the hottest month of the year no less.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Story Takes Over and Real Life Calls
So, at some point, my characters decided to take over the story and lead it away from my original plans, so it feels like I've lost complete control. It's a moment to stop, read over what I've written so far and see what the compromise can be: where do I want to take it and where do they want to take it? If not, I fear that the story will become that never ending monster, the novel that I'll be writing my whole life because I cannot find a satisfying ending to it. It's exciting, though, to see how alive my characters are. In fact, I spend a lot of time just sitting around when I can't be in front of the computer for uninterrupted writing time, dreaming about them, listening to them, plotting out and developing scenes. Long car rides are particularly good for this, I've found. I always end them desperate to sit at my laptop, typing away. I could practically lose myself in their world, and often do.
But then real life calls me over and reminds me there's more to my life than my make-believe world. And baby boy is already over 8 months old. The books all say, finger foods. So I tried that yesterday. Sat him in his little booster seat, cut up some avocados and let him at them. He loves avocado. I figured it's be great first finger food. I'm sure the floor enjoyed it. And the tray. And my pants. And his arms, chest and face. Everything but his mouth. Dorian proceeded to squeeze the avocado to a nice paste and redecorate. I'm thinking here finger foods are better if the baby actually has teeth. Which Dorian doesn't. Oh, he's been teething for months. But not even a sign of teeth yet! I should have taken a picture, but I was too busy laughing at the mess a baby can make with three little pieces of avocado. And then there's more work cleaning up. But all worth it to see how much fun he was having. I'm even going to repeat it today. Maybe the little pieces of avocado will actually make it to his mouth this time!
But then real life calls me over and reminds me there's more to my life than my make-believe world. And baby boy is already over 8 months old. The books all say, finger foods. So I tried that yesterday. Sat him in his little booster seat, cut up some avocados and let him at them. He loves avocado. I figured it's be great first finger food. I'm sure the floor enjoyed it. And the tray. And my pants. And his arms, chest and face. Everything but his mouth. Dorian proceeded to squeeze the avocado to a nice paste and redecorate. I'm thinking here finger foods are better if the baby actually has teeth. Which Dorian doesn't. Oh, he's been teething for months. But not even a sign of teeth yet! I should have taken a picture, but I was too busy laughing at the mess a baby can make with three little pieces of avocado. And then there's more work cleaning up. But all worth it to see how much fun he was having. I'm even going to repeat it today. Maybe the little pieces of avocado will actually make it to his mouth this time!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
WORDLESS WEDNESDAY @ MOM.DOT
So my backyard is a mess. It's actually more of my husband's work studio and the parts that he hasn't claimed are overgrown with weeds and sharing space with two passionfruit vines grown wild, a huge dead mango tree (horrible landlords poisoned it to kill it!), a guanabana tree and a few plantain trees, plus sand, rocks, etc. But this morning I look out the kitchen window and see this (there was actually a tiny little bird under them when I first looked but the dogs had chased it away by the time I got my camera):
Monday, August 17, 2009
On a roll...
First. Sunday morning baby boy woke up in great mood, playing and clapping and his version of singing. E puts him into his playard, with his toys and what does baby boy do? He ignores all the toys and goes for the one book lying in there. E says, "He really is your son." Yup. Yes he is. :D
Second. I'm really on a productive roll. So proud of myself. Saturday I managed to basically iron all of baby's clothes (and there were a lot as I had accumulated ironing for like weeks!) (Do I have to iron? Yes. We don't have a dryer and the wind dries the baby's clothes kind of wrinkly and feeling stiff--and as much as I generally hate ironing, somehow ironing the baby's clothes it's almost like meditation. I know. Weird.) But not only did I iron on Saturday, I also managed to get us all showered, fed and ready to go to a birthday party on time. On time being the special phrase there because since baby's arrival that has been a major challenge! And then, after the party, when baby finally gave up partying and fell asleep (I'm serious, how does an 8-month old have that much energy?!!!!), I sat in front of my laptop and wrote. Yes, I said WROTE. I worked on the novel uninterrupted til I finished another chapter. Yay!
Third. Sunday was rainy all day. Dark. Windy. A bit cold. Hurricane season has finally arrived, though usually here that just translates into annoying and rainy (hey, I'm thankful for that--I'd rather not live through another hurricane if I can help it). So I planned the baby's 1st birthday party with my mom. Yes, it is almost 4 months away. But, we are planning on making everything ourselves and of course, I'm super ambitious and this is baby's first birthday (which he won't remember at all and can only look at the pictures--but I don't care--it's important to mommy!). I'm actually really excited to start working on all the stuff and hopefully will be buying some of the materials or gathering some (as there's no need to buy all of them) later this week so I can actually move from planning to doing! We even wrote out the guestlist. Well, it was more of my mom taking care of baby and playing with him while I threw out ideas at her and kept annoying her by calling her over the laptop to look at pictures. :D
Fourth. Monday morning. My ex-coworkers went back to work today so I decided to make this my end of summer day too. And I managed to wake up to my alarm (finally--only took like the whole summer!) though I didn't need to as baby alarm was right on time too asking for his milk. Fed the baby, got up and exercised, made a healthy breakfast, watched the news, and then, as baby and E are still sleeping, stole this moment to write this post and play on the internet. Because I have actual work projects to work on the rest of the day and another novel chapter to finish (if baby agrees to give mommy time today).
Anyway, have a great, productive week. I know I will!
Second. I'm really on a productive roll. So proud of myself. Saturday I managed to basically iron all of baby's clothes (and there were a lot as I had accumulated ironing for like weeks!) (Do I have to iron? Yes. We don't have a dryer and the wind dries the baby's clothes kind of wrinkly and feeling stiff--and as much as I generally hate ironing, somehow ironing the baby's clothes it's almost like meditation. I know. Weird.) But not only did I iron on Saturday, I also managed to get us all showered, fed and ready to go to a birthday party on time. On time being the special phrase there because since baby's arrival that has been a major challenge! And then, after the party, when baby finally gave up partying and fell asleep (I'm serious, how does an 8-month old have that much energy?!!!!), I sat in front of my laptop and wrote. Yes, I said WROTE. I worked on the novel uninterrupted til I finished another chapter. Yay!
Third. Sunday was rainy all day. Dark. Windy. A bit cold. Hurricane season has finally arrived, though usually here that just translates into annoying and rainy (hey, I'm thankful for that--I'd rather not live through another hurricane if I can help it). So I planned the baby's 1st birthday party with my mom. Yes, it is almost 4 months away. But, we are planning on making everything ourselves and of course, I'm super ambitious and this is baby's first birthday (which he won't remember at all and can only look at the pictures--but I don't care--it's important to mommy!). I'm actually really excited to start working on all the stuff and hopefully will be buying some of the materials or gathering some (as there's no need to buy all of them) later this week so I can actually move from planning to doing! We even wrote out the guestlist. Well, it was more of my mom taking care of baby and playing with him while I threw out ideas at her and kept annoying her by calling her over the laptop to look at pictures. :D
Fourth. Monday morning. My ex-coworkers went back to work today so I decided to make this my end of summer day too. And I managed to wake up to my alarm (finally--only took like the whole summer!) though I didn't need to as baby alarm was right on time too asking for his milk. Fed the baby, got up and exercised, made a healthy breakfast, watched the news, and then, as baby and E are still sleeping, stole this moment to write this post and play on the internet. Because I have actual work projects to work on the rest of the day and another novel chapter to finish (if baby agrees to give mommy time today).
Anyway, have a great, productive week. I know I will!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Jigsaw Puzzle
That's what my novel is turning into. Or I should say, has begun as. I get these flashes, whole scenes, but they are not necessarily in order. I can see in my mind how they are connected, but they are not yet connected. I was trying to force myself to write in order, so I kept sketching those flashing in my notebook: notes, entire scenes, even some revision, right on the notebook, while trying to type the story in order. It was too hard! So now, I've decided to collect the puzzle pieces and start putting them together later. I started other documents with the other chapters, which has given me freedom to flesh them out completely, instead of trying to rush back to the original manuscript, which is what I was doing before. I love the freedom of this. I've never tried writing like that, but I think it might just work for me.
I've also started getting new story ideas. So, what to do? What to do? I liked just focusing on the one, but now I have all these other voices in my mind, fighting for their own space to be heard. I guess I'll work in all of them at the same time for now? A little here and a little there? Does that work? Or will that make me so crazy I won't finish anything? That's my fear, actually, but so far, it hasn't affected any of it. Actually, it's pushing me to write more and more. So I guess I'll go with that.
In completely unrelated news, I have to plan for our first overnight trip with baby. It sounded so simple. It's not! jajaja! But I am excited. I'm afraid of leaving anything I might need, but don't want to overpack. I've always seen all those parents will all those bags for even little trips. I always said that wouldn't be me. Now, I understand a little better. So, to control myself from overpacking, I'm going to make a list of what I'm taking, then go over it obsessively to make sure nothing important is left out and that I'm not taking unnecessary things. We are going to the beach, just for one night, to a resort, for a cousin's wedding. This sounds like it should be easier than if I was going to someone's house, but for me, it's actually a lot harder! Ughh! Okay, better go get that list started.
I've also started getting new story ideas. So, what to do? What to do? I liked just focusing on the one, but now I have all these other voices in my mind, fighting for their own space to be heard. I guess I'll work in all of them at the same time for now? A little here and a little there? Does that work? Or will that make me so crazy I won't finish anything? That's my fear, actually, but so far, it hasn't affected any of it. Actually, it's pushing me to write more and more. So I guess I'll go with that.
In completely unrelated news, I have to plan for our first overnight trip with baby. It sounded so simple. It's not! jajaja! But I am excited. I'm afraid of leaving anything I might need, but don't want to overpack. I've always seen all those parents will all those bags for even little trips. I always said that wouldn't be me. Now, I understand a little better. So, to control myself from overpacking, I'm going to make a list of what I'm taking, then go over it obsessively to make sure nothing important is left out and that I'm not taking unnecessary things. We are going to the beach, just for one night, to a resort, for a cousin's wedding. This sounds like it should be easier than if I was going to someone's house, but for me, it's actually a lot harder! Ughh! Okay, better go get that list started.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Blackout Days
First, never underestimate the power of flowers: So Eduard went out today to run a few errands and when he came back, he had, surprise! flowers for me. Not just flowers, gorgeous , bright yellow, happy sunflowers, my favorite! And seriously, I believe those sunflowers are so magical that they managed to make me remain calm and semi-productive as we suffered through another whole day blackout again! (yesterday, I gave up and took the baby to my parents' place, where I could lay under a nice ceiling fan and talk my afternoon away).
So, on to said blackout. 7+ hours (shorter than yesterday's 9). Wow. In the middle of the summer. I mean, it's not quite unexpected here in little tiny moving-backwards country, but seriously, I had gotten used to having 24-hours of electricity again. Dumb me. Plus, our inverter's batteries are just about dead and we will have to invest in new ones, as soon as we can so about 30 minutes into the blackout the power completely died. Normally, I would have started freaking, especially since baby is not only teething (and I think he has more than one tooth coming in at the same time) he is also experiencing his first cold. The poor thing is a little congested, with a slight fever that comes and goes and generally not feeling good. But somehow, I got baby to sleep on his playard and put the playard near the front door where a nice breeze was actually coming in, and decided to see how I could best use my time since I couldn't do anything that needed electricity.
Well, first I did all the breakfast dishes and cleaned up the kitchen some. That done, I peeked at my desk area and realized that I really needed to clean it up and organize it. I think my writing has been taking a toll because my desk has gotten so out of control! I kind of started to clean and organize it, but with the exception of that front door area, my house is an oven, so I quickly gave up and decided to wait for my fans to be working. But, my desk area should be finished and organized in the next few days. I did put some new pictures of baby up on my wall in my desk area, though. And that led me to spend quite a while organzing and labeling photographs so they can be ready to be put in albums. This is something I've been meaning to do for a while--like for four and half years! Yes, I'm embarrassed to say that our whole courtship, marriage, pregnancy and baby's life til now is all there, recorded, but not organized at all! Well, now it is, and I also figured out what other pictures I wanted to have printed so I can complete my albums. All in all a very progressive day.
Meanwhile, the blackout continued. After baby woke up, Eduard literally sat in our front gallery area, where there is a breeze, on a blanket on the floor with the baby. For hours. Because it was the only cool place to wait out the blackout. Eduard did get a little desperate at one point and called the electricity company to find out when they expected the blackout to end. Their answer: We really don't have a time because this a country-wide situation. What?!!!! Yes, that's the kind of answer he got. 3 times. Because he called back and talked to different representatives just to make sure. And then I talked to my parents, who were out in our hometown in the center of the country for the day and apparently, the people at the electric company were not lying, because there was no electricity there. That gives you an idea of where I live.
And the blackout continued. I finally got up and made some lunch for us, though by that time it was closer to dinner time and we were not really hungry (due to the fact that we had become sloths in the heat). And I was still not upset! (Very out of character for me). Everytime I glanced at those bright orange flowers brightening up my living room I got happy.
And my sick baby? Oh wow, I do have the sweetest baby in the world. And I'm not saying that because I'm his mother (okay, maybe a little because I'm his mother). He didn't complain, not once. The poor thing coughed and sneezed and you could tell his little throat hurt a little but generally he sat on that blanket on the floor and played with his dad or on the playard and played with his toys and when he was too tired, he did want to be in mommy's arms, but only til he fell asleep. You would have never known he was sick!
Ah, the electricity did finally come back when I was finally beginning to lose it a bit.
On a little sad note though, I realized today that we're pretty much done with breastfeeding. I feel really sad about it though due to some health issues, we were never sure I would even be able to breastfeed, but I made it to 7 months. The last 3 weeks or so, my production really dropped and baby asked for the breast less and less and just drank his formula happily. He still wants the breast but only to fall asleep (he'll take it for a few minutes and fall asleep). I hate losing that bond that I felt we had. Eduard tells me it's okay. The baby is already 7 months and I made it past 6 months, which was my goal when we first thought I wouldn't be able to breastfeed. Still, I'm sad. I guess it'll take a little while to get used to it. But it's weird that my baby would get sick just when he's pretty much drinking formula instead of breastmilk, so there's some guilty feelings involved in that too. :(
Anyway, I'm hoping tomorrow is not another all-day blackout, but I kind of know the answer to that already, so I'm going to try to rise ridiculously early (for me, now) and see if I can get a few things done before the electric company does its thing again!
So, on to said blackout. 7+ hours (shorter than yesterday's 9). Wow. In the middle of the summer. I mean, it's not quite unexpected here in little tiny moving-backwards country, but seriously, I had gotten used to having 24-hours of electricity again. Dumb me. Plus, our inverter's batteries are just about dead and we will have to invest in new ones, as soon as we can so about 30 minutes into the blackout the power completely died. Normally, I would have started freaking, especially since baby is not only teething (and I think he has more than one tooth coming in at the same time) he is also experiencing his first cold. The poor thing is a little congested, with a slight fever that comes and goes and generally not feeling good. But somehow, I got baby to sleep on his playard and put the playard near the front door where a nice breeze was actually coming in, and decided to see how I could best use my time since I couldn't do anything that needed electricity.
Well, first I did all the breakfast dishes and cleaned up the kitchen some. That done, I peeked at my desk area and realized that I really needed to clean it up and organize it. I think my writing has been taking a toll because my desk has gotten so out of control! I kind of started to clean and organize it, but with the exception of that front door area, my house is an oven, so I quickly gave up and decided to wait for my fans to be working. But, my desk area should be finished and organized in the next few days. I did put some new pictures of baby up on my wall in my desk area, though. And that led me to spend quite a while organzing and labeling photographs so they can be ready to be put in albums. This is something I've been meaning to do for a while--like for four and half years! Yes, I'm embarrassed to say that our whole courtship, marriage, pregnancy and baby's life til now is all there, recorded, but not organized at all! Well, now it is, and I also figured out what other pictures I wanted to have printed so I can complete my albums. All in all a very progressive day.
Meanwhile, the blackout continued. After baby woke up, Eduard literally sat in our front gallery area, where there is a breeze, on a blanket on the floor with the baby. For hours. Because it was the only cool place to wait out the blackout. Eduard did get a little desperate at one point and called the electricity company to find out when they expected the blackout to end. Their answer: We really don't have a time because this a country-wide situation. What?!!!! Yes, that's the kind of answer he got. 3 times. Because he called back and talked to different representatives just to make sure. And then I talked to my parents, who were out in our hometown in the center of the country for the day and apparently, the people at the electric company were not lying, because there was no electricity there. That gives you an idea of where I live.
And the blackout continued. I finally got up and made some lunch for us, though by that time it was closer to dinner time and we were not really hungry (due to the fact that we had become sloths in the heat). And I was still not upset! (Very out of character for me). Everytime I glanced at those bright orange flowers brightening up my living room I got happy.
And my sick baby? Oh wow, I do have the sweetest baby in the world. And I'm not saying that because I'm his mother (okay, maybe a little because I'm his mother). He didn't complain, not once. The poor thing coughed and sneezed and you could tell his little throat hurt a little but generally he sat on that blanket on the floor and played with his dad or on the playard and played with his toys and when he was too tired, he did want to be in mommy's arms, but only til he fell asleep. You would have never known he was sick!
Ah, the electricity did finally come back when I was finally beginning to lose it a bit.
On a little sad note though, I realized today that we're pretty much done with breastfeeding. I feel really sad about it though due to some health issues, we were never sure I would even be able to breastfeed, but I made it to 7 months. The last 3 weeks or so, my production really dropped and baby asked for the breast less and less and just drank his formula happily. He still wants the breast but only to fall asleep (he'll take it for a few minutes and fall asleep). I hate losing that bond that I felt we had. Eduard tells me it's okay. The baby is already 7 months and I made it past 6 months, which was my goal when we first thought I wouldn't be able to breastfeed. Still, I'm sad. I guess it'll take a little while to get used to it. But it's weird that my baby would get sick just when he's pretty much drinking formula instead of breastmilk, so there's some guilty feelings involved in that too. :(
Anyway, I'm hoping tomorrow is not another all-day blackout, but I kind of know the answer to that already, so I'm going to try to rise ridiculously early (for me, now) and see if I can get a few things done before the electric company does its thing again!
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