One day you have a job, that although it provides some fulfillment, normally makes you miserable. The next, you are a free woman, with limitless possibilities, and somehow, on that same day, some doors begin to open pushing you in the direction you have wanted to go in so long! That has been my week so far. I couldn't ask for a better one.
There is a degree of fear involved, of course, to not have a steady job anymore when I have a young child at home, yet, the fear involved is so little that it confirms that this is the best path for me for sure. Right after I knew I wasn't returning to my job in the fall, I felt the beginnings of euphoria. Freedom! What I've wanted for so long and had been too responsible and afraid to make happen. And I'm guessing that because I feel this is so right for me, that because my attitude about this has been so positive, the right doors have begun to open. I truly feel now like I felt when I was 20 and everything seemed reachable, my future a completely open book. In the years since then, I haven't always felt this positive. There have been many dark moments. So it is incredible to get back that feeling, get back to that place, and continue the path that I started so long ago.
I promised myself I would get here when Dorian was born six months ago. No, I promised myself that earlier, when he was still in my womb, growing. Somehow, I had to live life in my own terms and be an example for my son, to do something that I loved and completely fulfilled me, without the terrible compromises we have to sometimes make. He would have had that example from his father anyway, but I wanted it to come from both of us. And now it will.
As for me, I have so much to learn yet in this new path, and my studies have already begun. And it couldn't feel any better. The other plus is that I get to be immersed in my writing again, my characters are allowed out of my mind again (and they were getting restless in there!), their world can keep growing, their story developing.
